Granger's Cat
by PrimaVeraDream
Summary: Draco walks in on Crookshanks! What is Crookshanks doing? To find out, read this oneshot. Please review. Rated T for occasional cursing.


**(a/n)Over. Over. This is PrimaVeraDream speaking. I own nothing of this except maybe the story. This was inspired by a scene in the Date Movie. I haven't actually seen the movie. But I did see a clip from it. Search it on YouTube. It's called the farting cat. I really recommend you go watch that to imagine what it would be like for Draco with Crookshanks. Please excuse my bad grammar and review!**

Draco's POV:

I never expected that I will ever step into Weasley and Granger's apartment. But today just proved that the impossible was possible. Here I am, right in front of their door, ready to ring the doorbell. Before I had even rang the doorbell, they've already opened the door. It's like they're psychic, or something. Granger was right there, standing in her bright pink apron, and holding a matching color spatula in her right hand. Her hair was in a messy bun. Weasley was sitting at the dining table reading his Daily Prophet. Still in his pajamas, I see. After the last battle, we sort of all became friends. Of course we still tease each other once in a while.

"Granger." I nodded. And as I walked into the apartment, "Weasley." I didn't even try to hide my distaste of their living condition.

"Malfoy, what are you doing here?" Granger asked, while returning to the kitchen.

"I came here to have breakfast with you guys, no, I came here to discuss the mission for tomorrow. As aurors, we have to plan ahead. So, skip the chit-chat, and let's start planning."

"But it's 8:30 in the morning!" whined Weasley.

"But nothing. I say we should eat breakfast while we plan."

"That's your plan from the very start, right? To eat my delicious cooking?" said an amused Granger.

"Yes, and that." I said, with a tinge of pink on my cheeks.

Just then, Granger set down a plate of french toasts with eggs and sausages in front of me. The aroma was just so enticing. Whenever the aurors would have meetings, it would always be Granger to cook the food. And the meetings were always at the manor. Therefore, I never went into their apartment before. After I gracefully ate plate after plate, Malfoys never gorge food down their mouth, I excused myself to the loo. When I opened the door, to my surprise, Granger's annoying, pathetic excuse for a half-kneazle, half-cat, Crookshanks, was on the toilet seat doing his duty. I looked at Weasley for help. When he shook his head, I looked at Granger. She actually had the tendency to be ashamed!

"Anyone wants to explain why a cat is on the toilet seat?" I had sneered at them.

"It was Ron's fault!" she was pointing at Weasley while pouting. I looked at him for confirmation.

"How was it my fault?! He was peeing and shitting all over the damn apartment! I had to train him! Just think of it as potty training for a baby."

I looked back at Crookshanks. He seems like he has a Cheshire smile on his fuzzy face. Uh oh! He only has that face when he does something to annoy me. I looked around my surrounding carefully, if he really would attack me, or something. Then I heard it.

"Phhhhrrrrrppp" I looked at him, then at Granger. "Really?"

"Yes, the most unfortunate." Granger sighed.

Then it continued. In my opinion, her cat's farts are like a marching band in a bloody parade. An occasional squeaks here, or there.

"Phhhhooootttttt" There it is again. I could even hear the shit dropping in the water. Sounds like a fuckin' helicopter. And it continues...

"Hey, stop your bloody cat! It's going on a parade here. Is he having a diarrhea? It's still going on. Just how long is he gonna keep this up?"

With each fart, my eyes rolled a bit. Sometimes, the smell would get to me. But my nose just twitches. I refuse to embarrass myself in front of them. I'm starting to wonder if that cat did that just to annoy me. If it was, then it succeeded. Somewhere along the way, he started to fart along the tune of Hogwarts school song. The Hogwarts school song had a tune?! I never knew that!

"I taught him how to do that!" Weasley puffed out his chest and stood up proudly. Granger even looked at him admiringly. I looked at them with disgust. He even had tears in his eyes! What is he, a mother watching her baby taking their first step? As I took my attention from him, I've finally took notice that that fuckin' cat finished.

"Hurry up! My bladder's about to burst." Then it took some Yankee candles, and light them up. Then a match. Then some fresh air spray.

"I also taught him that!" The cat walked out with his head and tail held high. I swear he was mocking me. I walked in, closed the door, and took one sniff. One sniff, god dammit! I was out the door before they could even say 'pee'. The cat just gave me another reason not to go to their apartment. I'm never gonna go there ever again. Ever.

The Next Day:

"Hey Granger, Weasley." I said, as I took a step in. "What's for breakfast?"


End file.
